Somebody call Kwame Kilpatrick’s mother and have her slap him upside the head. Or, better yet, call in an I.T. person to explain to the Detroit Mayor that, in this day and age, any electronic message you send in this day and age is stored on at least one server, somewhere. I mean, really, what was this dude thinking?

In case you don’t know, Mayor Kilpatrick and his chief of staff, Christine Beatty, are probably holding their collective breath as they ponder their futures. You see, last summer, they testified in a police whistle-blower trial. Deputy Police Chief Gary Brown and former police officer Harold Nelthrope claimed that they fired in 2003 because their jobs as part of the mayor’s security detail might have seen them offer testimony in the probe of the mayor and would have exposed the mayor’s affair with said chief of staff.

Yes, I said “affair”.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. In sworn testimony, Kilpatrick and Beatty denied that they colluded to fire Deputy Chief Brown and denied ever having an affair but, they weren’t careful enough in covering their tracks. Unable to separate work from play, they decided to send text messages back and forth and Beatty used her city-issued pager to do so.

After going over 14,000 messages sent from Beatty’s pager, they found messages between the two referencing their love for one another and past sexual trysts ( I wonder how the mayor’s wife felt about this). Furthermore, they also found a message from Beatty discussing the “decision that we made to fire Gary Brown.”

Now, of course, Brown and Beatty are in really hot water. First of all, rather than settle, they let this case go to trial, costing a cash-strapped Detroit some $9 million. But, probably the most damaging aspect to this was that they lied under oath. As a result, the two could be facing perjury charges. Though we are not even at the point of being charged, it should be noted that perjury charges carry a maximum of 15 years in jail. However, even if perjury is off the table, Kilpatrick could face losing his law license if it’s determined that he lied to a jury.

In the end, I have to ask, was the lovin’ that good to go through all of this?

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