Love is blind stupid
I usually don’t go too heavily into the celeb stuff. We get “news” like this all the time. Typically, most of what they do has very little relevance in the lives of everyday people.
However, the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna fisaco did bother me. As someone whose seen women in his own family go through abusive relationships, I saw that such relationships are of absolutely no good.
I didn’t speak on this because, I thought, Rihanna seemed to have enough sense to break away from Chris Brown before it got worse. Today, I believe I was wrong.
It seems that they are a couple again.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I saw the women in my own family let abusive men back in, too. The men were so contrite, apologetic and loving after these beatings. The swore it wouldn’t happen again and admitted they needed help. Then, in no time at all, there would be another argument and another beating, just as bad, if not worse, would happen. I’ve seen the women in my family with cuts and bruises. I’ve seen the sunglasses being worn to work to cover black eyes. I’ve seen the so-called me calling or showing up at a place of work to publicly humiliate or intimidate the women. I’ve seen cases as severe as my own recently-deceased aunt who, over 20 years ago, was found after having being beaten and thrown through a glass table by her boyfriend. She was in a coma and, after awakening, could barely walk so that, in her 40’s, should could do no more that shuffle along. However, even this was not enough to convince her and, out of “love” she refused to press charges.
I guess this situation bothers me not because Rihanna is a celebrity. It bothers me for at least two other reasons:
- because she is a young woman with her whole life ahead of her and doesn’t see what a volatile situation she may be a part of and
- young women in similar situations may look to her example and not break with abusive mates, either.
Sadly, this isn’t a story of celebrity. This is something that is all too common and, I’m afraid, all too acceptable.
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I’ve been thinking about this lately, and i can’t figure it out. Does it mean that loves blinds you from things, or that you can feel the love, but not see it? It sounds stupid to be asking this but can you help?
March 4th, 2009 at 8:14 amRose,
The way I’ve always taken the saying “love is blind” is that love allows you to look beyond a person flaws and love that person for who he or she is, imperfections and all. Sometimes, this is a good thing. You might look beyond a physical shortcoming or the fact that a person may not have the most money or the best job. In that regard, it’s not bad. But, sometimes, when you overlook things like them being abusive, that is just not blind — it’s goes into the realm of stupidity, to me. If a person has flaws but treats the people in his/her life well, that’s one thing. However, if they aren’t do at least that, you’re going to have problems.
March 4th, 2009 at 10:38 amlove is neither blind nstupid but it is rare and this is not love at all. rhinna and chris have a codependent relationship. their individual sicknesses are feeding the relationship. make no mistake about it, she should leave him and do it quickly. can she walk away? maybe with a lot of support, therapy, and lots more self esteem. if she doesn’t break away? more severe beatings and verbal abuse (more than likely the physical abuse started as verbal abuse) …. maybe death. this story will not have a fairy tale ending.
March 5th, 2009 at 12:20 pm